Wednesday

Disabling and done crying im looking into my very own darkness
Knowing the person i became and how far im going i came to hate my darkness
Alone and diminishing in my own hell within four walls im learning how to fully control it
And knowing this i wipe the tears that rolled down past these broken chapped lips

Again im seeing myself at an angle i saw my figure 4 years ago
Again the pain burns so good affecting my fucking ego
Im getting more jaded and less satisfied and this fucking heart is growing cold
Im getting more betrayed and less applied to everyone, i know i'll die alone.

I fucking hate myself today
Because im the worst of all of them
I threw myself into hell today
Within these four walls with them

There is no future for someone who cries so much
There is only pain for the weaken at the heart
Stand up, move aside, and let another fool take your place.

I hate myself so much today
I hate myself alot today

In Denial

Im falling in denial
Who would clean up all of travesty's disease?
Slap on that smile
With that you'll make so much to please.

Another falling warrior
That used to be a friend
How can one stay so calm?
She's caught behind war's barrier
He's finding bliss through end
With a knife at his palm.

Im in denial
Watching two hearts be ripped with ease
They cant put up that smile
Their hearts are purple with disease.

The Outside

To tell myself over and over again to admit her to heart
Is to smoke until these lungs eventually decay
And so i have done what i had to do
Sitting outside watching dead bodies float down her river.

Could it have been while i was away my mind has fallen apart
And to let her in my frontiers despite their dismay?
Im alone and have no one to tell me what to do
Should i just jump into her river?

Already she's in here stomping down until i kneel
While she's away i try to recover
But my error is too close to pleasure
Im lost in too deep to the point where i say i love her.

And so i have lost all my senses to feel
While she fucks another
Again my error is way to close to pleasure
Again i should be the body most blue under the river.

Im lost and i have no friends to tell me what to do
Im lost and i have no one to help me out
Love is for the fools
Love can damage your health.